I have found the best way to move on from a relationship is to get busy and occupy my mind. I have spent the morning removing all the references in my life to Sir (easiest reference I have). I haven’t deleted anything, I just moved all the pictures, blog posts, private communications, etc. to another location. I just don’t want to be faced with them everyday. Someday I will want to look back through them but now. I have removed myself from shared blogs and updated fetlife.
I wish it was this easy to do in my mind. I would love to just move the thoughts and memories over into a corner, shove them in a box and lock it. That would be really nice right now. It has been awhile since I felt the pain that comes with a relationship ending.
I promise you all that I will not stay in this state for long. I am not one to allow myself to wallow in sadness. The Universe is in perfect working order and this is part of the experience that I asked for in this adventure. I can’t expect to not have any heartache. I am not a casual person when it comes to sex and love. I need an emotional component for it to be satisfying to me. When you add the emotional component it opens you up to heartbreak. It’s a risk that I have knowingly accepted.
I did update my fetlife profile. Another good way to move on, find a new friend.
Hello my lovelies,
I have not been around much of late. My worklife has turned upside down again. It is the nature of the business area that I support. It is having to go through a process of becoming more efficient with very little technology money to do it. I sit in the middle of that vortex of panic by people who do not know how to accomplish their goals without the technology changes to support it. It is incredibly draining on me, mentally and emotionally. Fortunately, I have learned the lesson of what I can control and what I can’t control, thank you to my former Sir for that lesson.
Speaking of my relationship…
My submissive, once my Sir is now no longer either. The universe has interceded and sent him in another direction. Perhaps, he will be back but I don’t know. I absolutely know that it has nothing to do with me, but that does not change the heartache I am feeling right now. He was a part of my daily routine for over a year, it is sad to contemplate that interaction being gone.
So many lessons learned, both wonderful and terrible. I think that if I take anything away from this relationship, it is a new found ability to trust. He forced me to admit that I did not trust anyone in my life to not leave me. I have other lessons, more painful but I choose not to share publicly, but they will be long lasting. One does not always understand the consequences of choices made in the throes of new found passion and sexual attraction.
I never regret my choices and relationships. They are just part of what makes me who I am. I have to look for the positive from my experiences, and figure out how to grow from them. I also understand that this is part of the package, when it comes to living a polyamorous lifestyle. Secondary relationships are just that, secondary. They come and go within your life. The key factor is that they are based in love. Love comes in many forms, I am open to them all. Sometimes, that openness ends me in heartache. I am alright with that trade off, I crave the experience and the exploration.
I am going to sit back and let my heart heal a little. Time will pass and I will feel the heartache a little less. I am always open to what the universe has to offer me, so I am sure that I will continue to explore being a submissive. I will feel the lure of my collar soon enough, I don’t feel that I have finished this part of my adventure.
That’s it for my Sunday morning ramblings. I send you all lots of Maggie kisses and hugs. Tell someone you love them right now!
Anonymous asked: How do I find out the theme for the week? :)
Biweekly themes will be announced throughout the week and will always be posted on the submit page where you’ll also find the submission guidelines and agreement. This week there is no theme so the possibilities are endless. Be creative and have fun.
Reminder to submit.